The floor is liars

As 2017 came to a close, I found myself in a situation I didn’t see coming. Not for one second. That my friends – is single. Again.

You see, all was not as it seemed with me and Romeo.

After all the Instagram posts, flowers, family meals, weekends together, it was evident that Romeo had some issues. Issues I used to have and consequently got over. Issues that came to light slowly, with text arguments and insecurity.

He enjoyed drama I thought I’d left behind and I didn’t want drama rearing it’s ugly head again. Not now I’ve managed to put out the garbage fire that was my early twenties take on relationships.

It all finished after one argument too many. It was the night of my works’ Christmas party, which I left at 10pm in a pure drunken haze. I woke up to texts telling me to ‘go fuck myself’ and a plethora of missed calls. When I answered the phone half asleep, I could hear him screaming at me because I ‘didn’t text him goodnight’.

A younger me would have begged and pleaded for forgiveness, or at least attempted to defend myself.

However, since my spiritual awakening, I’ve realised a couple of things:

  1. People think you have to take their shit – you don’t have to – ever. And…
  2. I need someone calling me up and shouting at me for nothing after my Christmas party  like I need another hole in my arse.

So do you know what I did? I hung up, I put my phone on silent and I went back to sleep. A blissful sleep where I was safe in the knowledge I didn’t have to entertain someone’s emotional horse shit meltdown. A peaceful sleep where I knew I would deal with this tomorrow.

I’ll fast forward this story for you – you know how a good dumping goes.

A couple of weeks post break up I am on my way home and drive past an old friends house. It’s a new place I haven’t seen so I pop in for a cup of tea and a catch up.

This particular friend I’ve known for a long time. He’s also known Romeo for a long time – they used to work together. The most shocking conversation of my year was to follow:

Mutual friend: You don’t seem too upset about the break up?

Me: Well, you know, we were at different points in our lives, he had two kids.

Mutual friend: Three

Me: No, two

Mutual friend: No, mate it’s three

Me: Look unless he has a secret kid I don’t know about…

Mutual friend: he has a secret kid you don’t know about.

Yep. He only screwed some girl at their old work, knocked her up and now just ignores the kid. I OBVIOUSLY looked her up on Facebook and low and behold, her profile picture was her and a boy of about 12 with Romeo’s face.

Start the year googling wedding venues, finish the year thanking my lucky stars I wasn’t stupid enough to become some lying chump’s 3rd baby mama.

Merry Christmas to me.

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